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A gratuitous tumblog dedicated to the awfully witty, intelligent, and troll-like things that come out of Jesse Eisenberg's beautiful mouth.

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Interviewer: Can I ask you who you’re wearing, by the way? ‘Cause I am doing a story about fashion as well.
Jesse: You mean my tuxedo? Yes it’s..it’s..it’s….Yes it’s…
Interviewer: Oh, Dolce and Gabbana!
Jesse: Where does it..Where does it say?
Interviewer: It says it right here…
Jesse: Oh yes, yes, that’s right.
Interviewer: What do you think when you dress for things like this? Do you overthink it or anything at all?
Jesse: I literally have no idea what I put on. Somebody hands it to me before I leave the house, I put it on and then, you know, look forward to taking it off and wearing my boxer shorts.

22nd Annual Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards Gala

(via michmemoirs)

  • Interviewer: What are you most looking forward to tonight at the Palm Springs Festival?
  • Jesse: I don't know. I'm so kind of surprised that I'd still be included in these very extravagant events.
It’s very nice to be a part of something that’s been received this well, although it just kind of sets you up for a great disappointment later in life.
  • Interviewer: Do you have a Facebook, Jesse?
  • Jesse Eisenberg: No, no, no.
  • Interviewer: No? None of you guys have Facebooks? Did you think about creating them as research for the movie at all, or no?
  • Armie Hammer: I--you did--
  • Jesse Eisenberg: Yeah, I did, actually. Yeah, yeah--
  • Interviewer: Did you get a lot of requests?
  • Jesse Eisenberg: I got one--I created it under an alias and I got a request for--that Facebook suggested that I befriend this woman who my sister used to be friends with like ten years ago. I don't know how they knew--
  • Interviewer: How funny!
  • Jesse Eisenberg: Yeah, no, not funny, it was very frightening.
  • Armie Hammer: Terrifying.
  • Interviewer: We're at the beginning of the awards season and you guys have a ton more coming up. How are you guys preparing for this? This is kind of your first awards season.
  • Armie Hammer: I waxed my body. Which--
  • Interviewer: Oh, you did! Can we see it?
  • Armie Hammer: Yeah, yeah! (unbuttons shirt)
  • Interviewer: Alright, let's see!
  • Armie Hammer: It grew back out a little bit, but--
  • Interviewer: Oh!
  • Armie Hammer: Actually I guess it all grew back.
  • Interviewer: It grew back really quickly.
  • Armie Hammer: Sorry about that.
  • Interviewer: That's alright.
  • Jesse Eisenberg: God waxed my body.
  • Interviewer: You guys waxed each other's bodies. Does that ever happen?
  • Jesse Eisenberg: Andrew used to come in early and wax everybody's body.
  • Armie Hammer: Such a prankster, that Andrew.
  • Jesse Eisenberg: When Andrew smashes the computer in the scene, I used to stick a whoopie cushion under the computer.
  • Andrew Garfield: Don't tell them this story!
  • Jesse Eisenberg: And so if you listen very carefully, Andrew smashes the computer after he's been kicked out and lost his brother, um, you can hear just a little faintest--
  • Armie Hammer: It's just a--just like a really quick but delicate, and also classy--pbbt. A light one. Yeah.
  • Andrew Garfield: You know, um, I feel like--I'm very proud to be a part of the film, um, and I adore everyone who was involved, and I think it's incredible--an incredible honor that the film has been recognized in such a wholly passionate way.
  • Jesse Eisenberg: I think the first thing was that Aaron Sorkin wrote this wonderful script and established these characters that, although they were in conflict with each other, they all had great arguments to make--and I think that was the first and the most important thing. And then the other thing is, you know, David Fincher's a master director and, you know, allowed all of us to excel, you know, all of us to play our characters with as much conviction as we could muster. And then of course the third part of it is a wonderful group of actors. Uh, it's young people who were working as hard as we ever have, humbled by this wonderful experience.
  • Armie Hammer: Uh, I think we all showed up with this one intent, which was to put our best foot forward and to, you know, for a lack of a better term, work our asses off and really make sure we did the best job we could. And we were there for each other for it, we, you know, supported each other and challenged each other, so it really just was a team environment. It wasn't, you know, a group of guys who all thought that, you know, that they were the best--it was like, "Oh, okay, do you want to run that scene?" It was really like a great experience.
David directed us in a way that we’re all the protagonists in this story. This ensemble award is so very fitting.
Yes, I’m wearing a tuxedo on my body. I know nothing about clothing. I know where it goes on my body and that’s it.
  • Interviewer: Who will you be bringing to the awards shows as your dates? Armie, I know you're bringing your lovely wife Elizabeth.
  • Jesse Eisenberg: I'm bringing Armie's lovely wife Elizabeth.
  • Armie Hammer: Too much woman for just one man to bring.