A gratuitous tumblog dedicated to the awfully witty, intelligent, and troll-like things that come out of Jesse Eisenberg's beautiful mouth.

sandy | lucy | angie | ji



Be More Chill - Chloe

Chloe is looking so good right now, and so sexy, and so much like she was born for me, for this moment…

(via liesl-liselotte-deactivated2012)

Be More Chill - Jeremy gets to first and second base

My body leans forward, tiny degree after tiny degree, and there I am — my lips wetting themselves on Brooke’s, kissing. My first kiss!

(via liesl-liselotte-deactivated2012)

Be More Chill - (various excerpts)

I’m masturbating still, watching a video. But it’s not like I’m masturbating to Michael — I’m multi-tasking masturbating.

(via liesl-liselotte-deactivated2012)

  • Thought Catalog: Jesse Eisenberg did the audio book for Be More Chill. Did you ever get to meet him? Have you read any of his McSweeney’s pieces, or seen his new play, Asuncion? You guys, on the surface at least, have a ton in common.
  • Ned Vizzini: I’ve never met Jesse Eisenberg but I hope to. In addition to doing the audio book for Be More Chill, he read from It’s Kind of a Funny Story at a benefit for the Scholastic Art & Writing Awards, a nonprofit that I’ve been proud to support for years. I like his “Manageable Tongue Twisters” on McSweeney’s.