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Mom had a date with a guy she called her ‘Widower Friend.’ ‘Widower’ means your wife died and ‘Friend,’ when Mom says it about a man, means someone rich who Mom is trying to marry. I never get to go on dates with Mom, but Mom wanted me to meet her Widower Friend because she wanted to show him what a good Mom she can be to his two daughters, who no longer have a mother.

The Widower Friend didn’t know I was coming when he asked to meet Mom at The Whiskey Blue Bar and, since I am not old enough to go to a bar, Mom said that we had to pretend to be staying at the W Hotel. I told Mom that I didn’t want to lie to the hotel people but Mom said it was okay in this case because it was just a white lie, which I guess is a lie that white people are allowed to say without feeling guilty.
#written by    #jesse eisenberg    #mcsweeneys    #2012   
/ with 45 notes
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