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A gratuitous tumblog dedicated to the awfully witty, intelligent, and troll-like things that come out of Jesse Eisenberg's beautiful mouth.

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Jesse Eisenberg kept bugging me to take a picture with him… Fans, what are you gonna do?

About 20 minutes before our draft, on our way to the Sirius/XM building, Jamey emailed me to say that he and Jesse were going to try to stop by to watch the draft.

Once Jamey and Jesse showed up and we talked for a while, I realized that Jamey had duped Jesse into coming up there. He was under the impression it was the REAL MLB Draft. He kept asking me questions, and I tried to explain what it was, but it wasn’t really dawning on him. Jesse was Jamey’s best man in his wedding a few years ago, when we first met him, but we were drunk. So this time, it was nice to have a discussion with him, even though he was tricked into it. We started talking about college basketball and how Emack was praying our draft ends quickly so he can catch Syracuse vs. Ohio State. Then Jesse offered us some orange Tic-Tacs, which we declined. I still say that’s the reason the Orange lost. We coulda had a lucky orange Tic-Tac!

Jesse was cool, and they stuck around for 10 minutes or so into our draft, before Jesse finally realized his cousin punk’d him. I have a feeling the chances of Jesse playing Sam Walker in a remake of “FantasyLand: The Movie” are officially dead. [x]

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    fucking HELL jesse.
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