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A gratuitous tumblog dedicated to the awfully witty, intelligent, and troll-like things that come out of Jesse Eisenberg's beautiful mouth.

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INTERVIEWER: What’s funny is that I talked to Jesse Eisenberg a couple weeks ago for Zombieland—
HALLEY FEIFFER: You did?! For Zombieland?
INTERVIEWER: He’s adorable.
HALLEY FEIFFER: Isn’t he the cutest?! 
INTERVIEWER: And I completely forgot to go like, ‘I know Halley…’ which would have made so much sense.
HALLEY FEIFFER: Oh, it’s okay.
INTERVIEWER: But he’s saying basically the same things because hes writing plays as well and hes like, ‘yeah, I don’t know if they’ll get picked up’ and he’, like,  big. You know, he’s a big star. It’s crazy that you guys have these really similar stories. 
HALLEY FEIFFER: We’re really similar, I hope! I just had coffee with him a couple days ago—you know what Katie? He’s the only friend I have who likes my writing the most and I like his writing so much. He’s like, my biggest fan. Everyone else is like, ‘It’s good… it needs work!’ And him, he’s like, ‘It’s perfect. I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to produce it right now. It’s amazing. Its my favorite thing I’ve ever read!’ And I’m like, ‘Wow!’ He’s the best. I love him. 
INTERVIEWER: I’ve never read any of his writing.
HALLEY FEIFFER: I’ve read an amazing, hilarious screenplay he wrote and he’s like, ‘I hate it. I hate it. It’s the worst—stupidest thing I’ve ever—I can’t believe you like—this is stupid—it makes me not even respect you!’ And then I read—he doesn’t really talk like that but I like doing it—and then I read a beautiful play he wrote. He’s just really talented. He’s disgustingly funny and he’s just…one of my favorite people I’ve ever met. (x)

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