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A gratuitous tumblog dedicated to the awfully witty, intelligent, and troll-like things that come out of Jesse Eisenberg's beautiful mouth.

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And what of Eisenberg’s self-congratulatory monologue that opened the show? Boasting of being a ladykiller. With sure-fire chat-up lines about women shedding their uterus lining every 28 days. And having strangers ask when he storms through a room, ‘Who was that freight train of confidence?’.

“All true, all true,” laughs Eisenberg. “The whole nervous, ill-at-ease nerd thing, that’s just an act. In real life, I’m far more Dean Martin than Jerry Lewis. Of course, my real problem is not about getting other people to believe that. It’s getting myself to believe that…”
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