Not that Eisenberg is moaning about his situation. Arriving at a coffee shop...– The Guardian on Jesse Eisenberg
She didn’t do my parties. That would have been strange. What she would do would...– Jesse Eisenberg on his mother’s clown career (via sarah-of-a-lesser-chicken)
4lieninvasion asked: I'm obsessed with your url..
Congratulations on everything, man. You’re handling all this success with a...– That moment when Billy Ray Cyrus tells Jesse Eisenberg the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to him, on national television. (via promentory)
I was interested in the story of my bird. One of the reasons I wanted to do...– Jesse Eisenberg, New York Magazine (via promentory)
New York Magazine: You're known for loving cats. Did your cats start treating you differently once you started playing Blu?
Jesse Eisenberg: Uh, yeah, they said they were too sick to go to the premiere and I suspect there might be discomfort with their owner being their biological enemy.
INTERVIEWER: It’s really early — are you on L.A. time?
JESSE: I am, yeah, yeah. I am just driving to an airport. Um, I, um … turn the GPS thing off.
INTERVIEWER: Yeah, I sort of felt they were, I don’t know, pushing you around, making you do this interview so early.
JESSE: Oh, no, um, no, no, no, no. This is the time I requested because I’m going to be on a plane in an hour and I don’t like to have any moment alone where I’m not discussing myself, so this is the perfect opportunity.
INTERVIEWER: Because the ride would just not be right if you weren’t talking about yourself?
JESSE: I’d have to call my mother and ask her to question me, yes.
They don’t like to be talked about in the press, they get embarrassed.– Jesse Eisenberg on his cats (via eisenbeard)
Interviewer: I heard you're a cat guy. How many cats do you have right now?
Jesse: I have 42 cats.
Interviewer #2: All in your apartment?
Jesse: No, no, they're at the premiere. We got them seats!
I always make out to National Public Radio because comparitavely, I look very...– Jesse Eisenberg on his “mood songs” (→)
Jesse Eisenberg: Speaking of the Internet: one of the interviewers [coming in later] today I think disparaged me on the Internet. I’m pretty sure; I’ve got to ask her when I see her. I’m gonna have Woody ask her, actually.
Woody Harrelson: Yeah, I will!
Jesse Eisenberg: You know, you’re not supposed to read about yourself on the Internet, but after I did one movie... of course, you search your name on the Internet because you’re like, in a movie. I’m pretty sure she wrote something bad about me and I wrote a response — but didn’t send it — that was scathing. I think I made a good argument, too.
Woody Harrelson: (laughs)
Jesse Eisenberg: But she’ll be here later, so we’ll wait.
Interviewer: Baseball bat ready. [Motions toward bat Woody’s holding.]
Woody Harrelson: But this thing is so effective. Because it’s just so quick — “whoosh.” You know what I mean?
Jesse Eisenberg: And then she’s wet.
Interview: Hmm … you should probably qualify that for the —
Jesse Eisenberg: Her vagina is wet.
Interviewer: There we go!